Huo Ci, wearing coarse, fishy-smelling hemp clothes, returned to the side courtyard, his body aching and exhausted.
Xiafeng and Dongyang had tidied the dilapidated yard neatly.
Seeing this only made Huo Ci feel worse.
They were trying so hard to live well, to maintain their dignity no matter the circumstances.
Yet, his mother refused to leave them in peace.
He fumbled inside his robe for a long moment, his face flushing as he finally handed the two maids a squashed half of a coarse corn bun.
“I’m sorry. I’ve dragged you down with me.”
“It’s just half a bun, but it might help a little.”
“Tomorrow, I’ll work harder to make sure you have enough to eat.”
Xiafeng numbly took the flat, greasy paper package. Unwrapping it, she found the bun inside had crumbled to pieces.
Both she and Dongyang were deeply moved, yet conflicted.
“The young master, he—”
Xiafeng snorted. “He deserves it! Serves him right for how he treated our mistress before! Hmph!”
Hearing this, Dongyang immediately stifled her flicker of pity and nodded in angry agreement.
“Exactly! Where was this concern before?”
They put the crumbled bun in a bowl, saving it for him to eat tomorrow.
Huo Ci wanted nothing more than to collapse onto the bed and sleep, but he reeked and couldn’t bear to soil the bedding.
As for bathing—
Huo Ci’s ears burned fiercely.
Dealing with daily necessities was embarrassing enough; the thought of bathing was utterly unimaginable.
Even though he and Jiang Xingyan had a daughter, Xiao Ya, they had only been intimate once.
It was on their wedding night, and they were both drunk.
Afterwards, whether in dreams or memories, the details were always a blur.
After he returned from the battlefield, their relationship grew distant, becoming a marriage in name only.
He was also a straightforward, reserved man.
Even after marriage, unlike his peers who had chamber maids, he had never been with any other woman.
Now, the thought of being naked with Jiang Xingyan’s body was overwhelmingly mortifying.
“Mistress, the water is ready. Would you like to bathe?”
Huo Ci turned his head away, deeply conflicted, wrestling with himself internally.
After a long silence, his voice was as faint as a mosquito’s buzz. “Xiafeng, Dongyang… could you assist me with my bath? I’m so tired today, I can barely lift my arms.”
His voice grew softer with each word until, by the end, his entire face was beet red.
Xiafeng and Dongyang exchanged a look, seeing both amusement and helplessness in each other’s eyes.
It was the mistress’s body, but the young master’s soul. At most, they could only watch; they couldn’t very well help directly.
Fortunately, they had brought a long-handled soft bristle brush from Jiangnan, which now came in handy.
They helped Huo Ci undress and step into the bathtub.
Huo Ci kept his eyes tightly shut, his face flushed the entire time, letting Xiafeng and Dongyang handle everything.
The moment he sank into the hot water, the fatigue seemed to seep out through his pores, melting away.
Huo Ci slumped weakly against the side of the tub.
A soft brush scrubbed his back, feeling wonderfully soothing.
The steam rose, lulling his consciousness downward.
Suddenly, the darkness before his eyes was pierced by light.
After a blinding flash, he saw a person lying on the ground.
Before he could wonder, the person turned their face—it was unmistakably Jiang Xingyan.
Her eyes were wide open, staring fixedly at him.
They were filled with hatred and agony.
A large, gaping hole in her head gushed with fresh blood.
In an instant, Huo Ci’s heart felt as if gripped by a giant hand and wrung dry.
He trembled all over, his mouth agape but unable to utter a single word.
No, this can’t be real!
Wasn’t she safe inside his body?
Huo Ci looked down stiffly and saw the familiar armor he wore.
Was he himself again?
Had swapping souls with Jiang Xingyan just been a dream?
No, this was the dream!
He slapped himself hard across the face.
It hurt.
You can’t feel pain in dreams.
An unprecedented wave of panic washed over him.
He would rather endure his mother’s torment in the inner quarters than have her die!
Huo Ci took a dazed step forward.
Noisy voices rushed into his ears from somewhere far away.
Someone grabbed his arm tightly.
He turned to look—it was his mother.
“She’s the one who killed Xiao Ya! How dare she kill herself!”
“She wants to make sure our entire Huo family knows no peace!”
“Ci’er, quickly, fetch the master to perform rites! Disperse her soul! We mustn’t let her become a vengeful ghost haunting this household!”
Huo Ci stared at his mother in disbelief. Couldn’t she let Jiang Xingyan rest, even in death?
“Jinzhu! Drag this wretched woman’s corpse out and throw it into the unmarked burial grounds!”
“Enough!” Huo Ci roared.
The surroundings fell silent.
He shook off his mother’s hand and, with great difficulty, walked over to Jiang Xingyan.
She was clutching Xiao Ya tightly, bloody tears streaking her face.
Her eyes remained wide open,死不瞑目 (shǐ bù míng mù – dead but will not close the eyes; to die with a grievance).
He bent down, picked up both bodies, and stumbled outward.
“Huo Ci! I gave birth to you, I raised you! You are a piece of my own flesh!”
“I carried you for ten months, suffered so much bringing you into this world!”
“Your father went off to war; I was the one who pulled you up and raised you!”
“And now, for the sake of some merchant’s daughter, you would truly abandon your own mother?”
“If you dare take one step out of the Huo residence today, tomorrow I will go beat the Drum of Appeal and cry out my grievances!”
“I’ll let the whole world see what kind of disloyal, unfilial creature the Huo family has produced!”
Huo Ci turned his head. His mother’s face was twisted and ferocious, like a demonic asura from hell.
So, this had been her true face all along.
All that talk of maternal kindness and filial piety was just about absolute obedience.
Huo Ci smiled bitterly.
He tightened his hold on Jiang Xingyan and Xiao Ya.
He had been so terribly wrong.
Let him spend his life atoning for his sins.
He looked straight ahead and did not turn back again.
No matter how fierce and impassioned the curses screamed behind him.
Step by step, he walked towards the main gate.
He would take her away from this man-eating den of demons.
He should have done this long ago.
The moment he stepped over the threshold, everything suddenly went black.
“Ah Yan!”
He sat bolt upright, gasping for air.
It was pitch black all around.
Only a sliver of moonlight filtered through the window screen.
“…Mistress? What’s wrong? A nightmare?” Xiafeng rubbed her eyes and sat up from the edge of the bed.
Huo Ci was overjoyed.
It was a dream!
He was still Jiang Xingyan!
There was still time!
He needed to go tell her—to use his identity, to separate from the main family and live independently.
As long as they escaped his mother’s control, everything would be alright.
Huo Ci saw hope again.
Unable to contain his agitation, he got out of bed, put on the clean clothes Xiafeng had prepared, and ran outside.
“I’m going out to clear my head. Don’t worry about me, go back to sleep.”
Xiafeng, uneasy, forced herself to get up and secretly followed him.
Huo Ci hurried quickly towards the main residence compound. Just as he reached the covered corridor, he was blocked by Baozhu, who had apparently been waiting for some time.
Baozhu took one look at his bright, shining eyes and his ‘seductive’ appearance and felt anger rise. “You really don’t learn your lesson, do you? Was the beating last night not enough?”
She roughly grabbed Huo Ci’s arm and shoved the sleeve up.
Sure enough, the skin was fair and clean, without a single mark.
“Ha! Men! Beat her, hard!”
A group of strong, sturdy matrons answered the call, grabbing Huo Ci from both sides.
Huo Ci struggled but couldn’t break free. “You wicked slave, how dare you! I am a First Rank Lady, personally enfeoffed by His Majesty! How dare you lay hands on me!”
Baozhu sneered. “You really think you’re something special?”
“This inner household is the Old Madam’s domain!”
“Whether you remain a First Rank Lady or not is entirely up to the Old Madam’s word. Who are you to give orders?”
She turned to direct the matrons. “Drag her to the ancestral hall for the beating! After, make sure she kneels until the end of the Hai hour [9-11 PM], then throw her back into the side courtyard!”
The matrons assented promptly, efficiently gagging Huo Ci and dragging him towards the ancestral hall.
Baozhu spat on the ground. “Putting on airs! Just wait until Miss Yishu becomes the Young General’s wife, then you’ll see what’s what.”
“A lowly merchant wench, daring to aspire to being a First Rank Lady? Pah!”
Huo Ci used all his strength, but couldn’t break free from the matrons’ grip in the slightest.
They threw him heavily to the ground, picked up a wooden club as thick as a wrist, and brought it down on him.
Pain!
Such pain!
But even more painful was this bleak, hopeless existence, devoid of any light.
Huo Ci finally understood the despair Jiang Xingyan felt with every failed attempt to resist, the crushing weight of each defeat.
Ah Yan, I’m sorry!